I think if we all look at our lives, we can say we are not where we want to be.
I know we certainly can, but I can testify we are definitely not where we used to be.
It was only 2 years ago, things were so different for us. Overwhelmingly difficult. A time of hardship for sure.
The Hardship
Kerwin was an over the road truck driver. He was gone most of the time. He tried to come home monthly, but that wasn’t guaranteed , especially in the early days when they didn’t pay enough for him to be able to take off.
It was extremely hard. We had somewhat prepared for the long distance marriage relationship, but was not prepared for the low pay and the carelessness of the truck driving industry, who didn’t care if truck drivers had families they wanted to get home to.
The pay eventually, got better, but it didn’t take the place of Kerwin’s presence. The boys missed him, I missed him. We were used to being around each other every available moment possible.
To top it off, when Nehemiah was 14 months, he had developed acute eczema, but a few days after Kerwin left, Nehemiah’s eczema got worse. It went from acute to severe eczema in a matter of days!
It was the beginning of a very dark time. Nehemiah’s eczema consumed our life. Finding the cause and curing it was all I could think of. You name it, we most likely tried it.
There was no such thing as sleep. Nehemiah was tortured all night long, scratching, itching and bleeding terribly. Staying up all night with him and waking up to start the day with, Jeremiah, it became too easy to become sleep deprived.
I wouldn’t be honest to say that I never felt lonely, resentful and abandoned. Our family was very young. Nehemiah was 1 and Jeremiah only 6 months at the time Kerwin went on the road. I felt like a single parent. I went from having a partner to having to handle the boys and everything else totally on my own.
It was always stressful and overwhelming. I finally hit a breaking point and started suffering from panic attacks. At one point I would have them multiple times a day.
I felt like a mess and ashamed that my mind and body had turned against me. I viewed myself as a strong person but overnight became weak and I hated it. It opened the door to new fears that I had to eventually learn to overcome.
We were living with my mother at the time because we wanted to save up for getting our own home and Kerwin didn’t want me to be alone while he was gone. His intentions were good and my mother graciously allowed the boys and I to stay, but I definitely felt alone despite living in a house full of family.
The
He started to experience some anxiety and I became extremely worried concerning his health and his state of mind.
It was the beginning of 2017 when Kerwin came home to visit. We shared how we both were fed up with this situation. This lifestyle was becoming unbearable and putting a strain on our marriage and family.
We had discussed the fact that we never took a family vacation with just us and the boys. We decided then our goal that year was to take a family vacation, no excuses! This led to setting even more goals, such as him getting off the road and getting our own place. At that point, we didn’t care if it was an apt, a rental or purchasing our own home. We just knew it was time to get back together as afamily.
I remember saying “Lord, I don’t know how all this can be accomplished.” (But, it’s not for us to know, we just have to believe.) We decided to believe it could be done.
A True Miracle..
Since deciding to walk by faith that our family would be restored back together, I started to notice Nehemiah’s skin was clearing up. It was such a miracle to witness. The illness that stole my baby’s skin, hair and zapped his once lively and happy personality was now leaving. He was being restored to what God had originated him to be.
We were excited to see the change. We were in the middle of a fruit detox, but I honestly believe it was God’s grace and mercy that truly healed him. All glory goes to God and nothing I did.
I wish I could say I stood perfectly in faith, but I spent many nights crying out to God why, how do I deal with this and heal my baby!!
He is faithful, He does heal the sick!
A Mini Vacation
As Nehemiah’s eczema was healing, it freed me up to be able to go on the road with Kerwin to a trip to California. He was excited that my mom didn’t mind watching the boys for some much needed time alone.
I absolutely love going on the road with Kerwin. I had only gone with him two other times.
One was an overnight trip and the other was for almost two weeks.
This time was definitely needed, to get away from everything. At the time, my grandma had just passed and we were in the middle of stepping out on faith and shopping for a home loan.
It was also a time to reconnect as a couple, something that was much needed at the time as well.
Our First Family Vacation
A few weeks after Kerwin and I got back from our trip to California, we set off to Galveston, Tx to take the boys to the beach.
I couldn’t believe God had allowed the opportunity for us to really go on our first family vacation. At this time Nehemiah was 3 and Jeremiah 2. This was the first time we were alone as a family EVER!
It was such fun spending time as a family. We all enjoyed it! The boys loved being there at the beach. They had a hard time leaving when it was time to go.
We even spent a day just lounging around in the hotel room. I got much-needed rest which wasn’t easy since I was battling anxiety and having panic attacks like crazy during that time.
It was great seeing the boys getting a chance to play and spend time with daddy.
Finally Off the Road
A month after we came home from our vacation, Kerwin was offered a local position in the DFW area. It was unbelievable!
Finally the day had come that I could see my hubby daily! But before we could truly celebrate, it was time to find a place to call home. He had the position in Dallas-Ft.Worth, but we were still located in Shreveport, La.
It was still a victory that we had! And we were happy for it.
We’re Home!
After months of searching, almost two months after we got back home from vacation we were able to get our preapproval to shop for our home!
We felt like little fish in a big pond. The home buying process was a very intimidating one, but God had blessed us with a realtor who didn’t give up on us and a loan company that smiled and held our hand the entire time.
Next thing we know we are at the closing table closing on our first home.
I can’t explain the feeling. Little us, who were staying with my mom all that time was now moving into our very own home.
This home felt like a reward from God for enduring everything we had to endure over the years.
It was everything we wanted and more.
A true blessing. I still sit in awe, wondering how did we get here?
Just the Beginning
That’s the short version of our story. There is much more to say, but this post gives a bit of a background of what we have had to overcome to get to where we are now.
As we still continue to get settle where we are, we discover there is much more God has for us. This is our journey now. Getting back to being a family, learning how God sees family and walking into the purpose He has called our family to.
He has so much good in store for His families. We want to know what it all entails so we can share as we learn.
What is something God has had your family overcome? He is so faithful! Let’s encourage one another with our story!
